--> am glueckwunsch!

glueckwunsch mit meinen aufmachung. ich habe ein bisschien aber nicht ein bisschien angst. ich bin foeh weil ich aufgeregt habe..... huh!

i moechte viele und ich weiss es nicht wie kann ich mache...


Meinen Vater im Himmel, bitte hilfe ich... danke schoen.

--> comparison on everything

..:.. funny and very entertaining ..::.

i am a fan of pinoy big brother season 1. i am not always watching every scene but i see to it that i know what's happening inside the house. but now, here in season 2, i actually am trying to watch toni in prime time bida just to know the full details of what was happening. i am quite interested on their new task plus i constantly logging on to the site (http://www.pinoybigbrother.com) just to know the latest. it is not so me. but i think what interested me is the people inside the house. they are very interesting and talented young individuals. it is very nice classification of housemates. ladies and gemtlemen inside the house has a stable foundation when money comes and has a quite good features. this is so nice because people outside will not base their votes because of pity toward the nominnes background but because of his preformance inside the house...... well maybe... ahahaha. but i like season 2 more compared to the first one.


..:. gerrys grill vs. dencio ..:::...

my family and i went to market market to eat dinner. we have chosen gerry's grill because of 2 reasons. we haven't yet tried eating in there and the gift certificate of ate che is applicable for gerry's grill. we ordered sisig, calamares, sinigang na bangus and chicabits i think. this foods can also be ordered in dencio's... and i really can't help it. after i have eaten, i suddenly blurted out... mas masarap sa dencios! and my brother gave his nod as a agree to it. oh well, atleast i have tried gerry's. service still is good, there's no question about it.

..::...plastic plates vs. banana plates..:.

yep, you read it right. this sunday lunch my family have eaten our appetizing and mouthwatering lunch. it is really fun. its as if we are having a picnic and the only thing that we need is the setting. grilled luncheon pork, fish, fried chicken, pork adobo, tahong chopsuey and itlog maalat are in the house. liquids for drinks are also in the table such as coke, water and buko juice. it was a great lunch because we are eating in a banana leaf with delicious foods. but what i really like is how i have my family that time, eating lunch while we shared different kwentos and chismis to each other together.


...... to sleepy mode




~~~~~~~

tired!? yeah but i kann und i muss mit meinen Vater im Himmel hilfe

--> can i say something!?

..:. i think i should speak up .:..

i am my nanay and tatay's daughter. i am very very (raise to infinity) happy with that. in fact i am writing this blog because of them. i hate it when i see them sad. i hate it because the only thing i can do is nothing. i am tired of talking and chatting the same topic over and over again. i am tuckered out with issues, chismis and stories that seems to have no ends. i am exhausted of having this thoughts running back and forth in my head. this thoughts are things that i want to say with regards this issue. issues, in my father's side..... the arriola clan.

this things i cannot say straight to my relatives. why!? simply because i am not credible enough for them, my judgement, opinions, feelings and sentiments are not that important and i can see from their faces - eyebrows will start raising and mouths will suddenly opening, saying "kala mo kung sino sha!!" or something that will question my credibility and make my self steem boost very low....

so, since i cannot do anything... blogging is the answer..... i'll just blog out what i want to say...

i have nothing against with my father's side. as a matter of fact, i love my auntie's and uncle's.
i am giving respect to them, same respect that i am giving my nanay and tatay. nanay always tells me that i should respect old people especially aunts and uncles. whatever happens respect for the elderly should come first.

cousins!? they are nice and good to me. i love being with them but somehow age seems does matter.... i am 21 and gaps are ranging from the least 7 years up. my generation is different from theirs. sometimes abrupt straightforward outspoken reactions i have, were misinterpret. addition to that is my sincerity and intentions were also questioned... it's okay, i understand.

what's my point!? please give my nanay the respect she deserves.....

i think you really don't know my nanay very well. there are many precedent and occurence that hurt her and kept it tightly within her. i am not in the position to site those things. what i mean is don't judge her. i hope sometimes you'll consider feelings that my nanay have....

this is what i observed in my 21 of existence. maybe two sides are really different. in my nanay's side of the family: uncle's and aunt's have a great concern over tatay, they really love tatay and labeled him as "the best bayaw and even best uncle that is a husband of their aunt". however, this scene is not visible in my eyes at tatay's side of the family. i am not telling that put the spotlight to my nanay's, but i am just wondering..... isn't that you should be more nice to people who is not a real member of the family? isn't it that you should show how you are open and how much you welcome the new member... ah, but what's the ever great motto that i have heard two years ago..... "blood is thicker than water" i get it, the motto that was pass every issue that arises in this family..... how come i cannot hear it on the other side??? maybe someone will say "you can't hear it or even understand because they speak it in their own dialect bisaya!" as a matter of fact, i can perfectly understand the dialect and speak it with a really nice tagalog accent. so i guess, the motto is not on their vocabulary....

i think i've said enough. its time for me to shut up. but here's the essence of this blog.....


actually i want to say something to ate gigi.... this what i want to say to her....

ate gigi, wala kang kinakausap samen except si tatay chaka ate anne. kinakausap mo ko, pero dapat ako una papansin sayo. that's ok. hindi naman kita kayang pilitin if ayaw mo makipag usap, it's your own decision. diba you are deeply hurt sa pag uusap niyo ni nanay especially don sa "point of entry ka lang" don sa isang beses na nasabi ni nanay yon dahil sa sobrang galit at inis dahil sa nagulo yung plano. kung nasaktan ka don, sana naisip mo din na ilang beses nasaktan si nanay don sa sinabi niyo na "blood is thicker than water" put yourself in nanay's position. ikaw sabihan ka ng kamag anak ng friend mo o kaya ng asawa mo na "blood is thicker than water" di ka ba masasaktan.

kinausap kita one time. saturday yon. binigyan kita ng tea set. i think after ng pag uusap naten, getting your side and explaining what i think and giving my opinion, okay na. hindi pala...... i was wrong, my sincerity and intentions were again questioned and misinterpret. "sino nga naman pala ko para magsalita ng ganon!?" sana if you don't like what i did, sinabi mo na. sana you showed already that time how you are annoyed of me having you disturbed washing the clothes. sana you never accepted the tea set i gave you if you have doubts that time. and sana di mo na ko in-embrace and hinatid sa gate if you will say something against what i did that time. you know after that talk, i thought na okay na tayo. but i was wrong. as i said earlier what i did, talking to you in my utmost care and giving you a sisterly advice, with a clear and pure intentions of having the bonds and ties between us will be back to what it was then was useless because as you have said weeks after the talk that "who am i, para magsabi non!?"

i don't know what happen. but as i said, i have nothing against you. if you want to comment on something about me, please, kindly say it directly to me. i would just like to say, what i have said the last time we talked. i miss the "porki callings", well then if its because of the anger and the pain you feel right now is the hindrance of the mending of some things, very well, it takes time and self motivation before it'll gone.

i have no guilt feeling against anyone even on you. if that's what you feel for me, this time, that's okay. i cannot change it no matter what. you are entitled to your own feelings and opinions. my intentions the last time we have talk is sincere and pure... i thought i can get what was left behind, the closeness. i thought i am near it. but i was wrong.... the closeness that i was trying to grab was just the mirror image of the far oppsite end of the real thing. ate gi, things are all in your hands, you just have to know how to handle each.... as a young niece to nanay, you should have say sorry.... respect for the older ones is not a loss..... but as you have said, it will take time. its in the blood of this family and history shows..... older people usually acknowledge or "sinusuyo" the young ones, but it must be the reverse.

tatay is in pain... asking now and then.. why is it happening!? if only i can do something more. i tried patching things up by talking to you.... but you have misinterpret and questioned my sincerity..... but please do remember, if your ready to talk to me, anger and pain is gone, we can get back what was the closeness that was left behind.... i am always here. together with the rest.

i blog this one because..... i know if i talk it to you personally.... again and again... i might be misinterpret again.... like before....

i also blog this one because i know you are not talking to me.....

maybe your gonna ask or someone might ask me... "sino ba ako para magsalita ng ganyan at akala mo kung sino ako para magsalita ng ganyan!?

the answer is plain and simple: family is family... kung walang magpapakababa... wala... para sa ken kase di ko kailangan ng pride pag ang naka-stake na is yung something na treasured ko... and i hope the string that is connected between your side and mine will not be cut.... again and again... if the pain and anger you are carrying right now is gone, please let me know... because i am waiting for you and can help you in patching and mending things up, if you'll only let it...

...... that all ate gigi - i wish you luck and have a good trip going to alaska.



~~~~~~~
to the reader....
everything that was written in this blog was merely by my opinion, point of view and feelings..... if by any chance you are moved negatively or positively by my blog.... just shout it in my shoutbox, so i can contact you., if ever you need an explanation. you can freely message me at the outbox as anonymous....

******
there will be a 100% probability that this blog is non existent in the outside of the blogspot world and even in this blogspotworld..... my blog is invisible to everyone and unimportant.... it is not attractive to other people. only me and i cares to bother visit this blog... and i quite enjoy it... yeahboi.!



~~~~~~~

ich moechte eine gute benziehung familie herstellen fuer meine vater... :o

--> dizzy sunday

.:.should be sneezy sunday, though..:.

nanay woke me up at around 7 o'clock

nanay: leng, sabay ka na lang magsimba kina kuya mo. kami na lang ni sunshine. para mamya maasikaso ko na kung anong panglunch naten

because of my habit sleeping at yesterday's and tomorrow's boundary i responded with a nod and transfer to my room to have more good sleep. but as i get up from my comfy bed.... i am not quite well. i have a liitle headache and my eyes are not feeling well either. i want to vomit but i can't. but then neglecting the negative aura is all i can do. remember it's chinese new year today. the fire pig is on its way to shower us people of prosperity and goodluck.


~~~~~~~

Sabbath day today. i attended the mass together with my brother at 10:30 o'clock. our parish priest father rei quite hitted me by the homily he talk.....

few pointers are:

1. love and forgive
2.you should not loose your source of power
3.8 beatitudes is the heart of christianity
4.and some other things that i quite forgot



~~~~~~~

at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. things that i did and felt in chronological order +
1. eat the savory vegetables and fried fish nanay had prepared for lunch.
2.wash the dishes wholeheartedly .
3.i had my siesta.
4.mall of asia.


~~~~~~~

this day is my first step in mall of asia. i am not quite amused because of its gigantioc and humungous structure. diziness was what i felt when kuya axel, ate che, lang 2*, raphael and i started walking. there are so many shops and i am quite happy about that but then again, i was disappointed. why? there are so many shops, but the shops sell less variations compared to the shops in other malls. i share some of the comments and opinions with ate che because we have the same criticism. then a question suddenly popped out of my brother..

kuya axel: leng, babalek ka pa?
leah: nde na ah. ever
kuya axel: ehehehe, ganyan din sinabi namen eh

whatever! let's see.

the most wonderful thing that i have seen in mall of asia.... aside from the chinese parade with dragons and mascots from fast foods..... is watching the setting of the sun! it's oh so nice and irreplacable... and that's a pretty good way to let myself remember to always thank God for the goodness He always give.

guess what?? im gonna go back in mall of asia and just witness again and again the setting of the sun.. it's really nice.. duh!


~~~~~~~


crucial damsel in distress is having the time of her life in serenity.... yeahboi! :p

--> woozy whirling world

.:. oh common..:.

yep.. that's it

as of 4 o'clock in the afternoon of the 17th of february. visions, plans and even schedules of mine are quite shallow and dull. emotions i have that time are so inconsistent. half of the body i have is excited while the other half can feel the anxiousness of the things that i am thinking.

the reason: so simple ---> my plain disposition of the approaching occurrence.

then, anxiousness has quite subsided when uncle bobby called up. i felt that half of the topsy turvy that i have, half of the half, disappear and was altered by pressure. "pressure" in a very nice way. here's the thing +i am pressured right now, but i can feel the challenge+.

currently, i am doing this stuff at my cousin's house. my computer has a problem. it is already old and i think it needs a "retirement something". i miss doing computer stuff in our terrace where i can see different people passing by. but faith decided to end the suffering of my old propitious computer friend. the eyes of my friend which is the monitor losses its ability to open up. poor friend. but what can i do. i am just a girl that has no idea when it comes to computer.....

~~~~~~~

highschool friend ria which i fondly called mammuh back then texted me

pPc ria: hi anak... punta kame ni joni ngayon school attend ng alumni, punta ka den para magkikita tayo. see you soon!
leah: censha na mammuh.. i can't come eh, but amishu so muuuch

here's the twist.... i cannot come to the celebration but i miss my friends. particularly highschool friends. but i think a proper time will come where i can all again meet them. not today and not tomorrow. maybe some other time..... oh especially anna, karen, iris, ira, joyce, jeff and joan, how could i ever forget joan! my only friend that always crushed the plain, unsightly guys in school. *ahahahaha*

shanty song cOrnEr c",)
meet new friends
and keep the old
one is silver
and the other is gold

that's where college friends comes in... but in case of the peepz from mapua, gold will be their shade of intensity now. *ahahahaha* cool. right!?

~~~~~~~

life is tough.... but im gonna prove that i'm tougher... yeahboi! :p

--> nur zum spass

yeah....

nur zum spass is a german word phrase meaning just for fun!!

and that's what i am doing. spending my precious golden time in wrting my first ever blog while listening to manila's hottest monster radio rx 93.1 countdown.

and that's fun to me.,

crucial yet trivial. bizarre but then typical.
archaic however contempo.

ahh..
oh so weird occurence....

and dealing with it guys is all you have to do..

see? how devastating? how excruciating?
and it's precisely impeccable..
so just....
live it, learn it and love it.....
got it??